Monday, January 27, 2014

move on already


 Allow me to be your thesaurus and Wikipedia for the day and describe a few English words we all are familiar with but do not really have insight to their meaning. Word number one is 'walk'. This means to put your legs in motion one after the other in a slow or rather quick motion. Two is 'run'. To run is when you increase your walking motion to seven steps per second (i.e. if you are Usain Bolt) or a mere two steps per second if you are overweight (which sadly most of our population is). Lastly we have 'flee'.

 I want you to understand something, running in itself is fast already now picture seeing your dead cat coming towards you at 2 o'clock in the night with two heads and appearing as big as a goat and to top it all it says "hello honey, I've come back from the dead to make you pay for......" if you're thinking what I'm thinking, that your cat can talk and is undead then you'll get the heck out of your bed (assuming you'll be in bed) and ~come on let's say it together~ flee from there.

Do I have a point in all these lamely put semantics? Yes, I do and it’s about reminiscing. It is not a bad thing that is if you have moved on of course. In case you haven't id suggest that you FLEE from that page honey otherwise you'll be going back to your bin to check old emails and restoring photos and videos from your recycle bin which I like to call 'past'. in case you are being as petty as I have a feeling you are, would you please stop thinking about your ex boyfriend or girlfriend, I'm talking about addictions, bad habits, behaviors and evils you and the rotten part of society has approved to be morally correct. Now that I have your attention, would you please cut off the dead weight from your list of this year's resolutions and just move the heck on. I need it, Kenya needs it. Why? Because the rate of highly depressed psychos and bipolars is becoming increasingly high in our country. Good bye good people, I still love you though :P

 

IF A SNAKE BITES YOU, BITE IT BACK

A farmer was in his rice farm at night when he felt something bite his leg. He quickly went in his house to get a flashlight so as to see clearly what had bit him. It was a cobra.

Before you say ‘kai!’ let us put ourselves in the farmer’s shoes and gauge our options. Should you tie the upper part of the leg  or should you run and scream for help which by the way, will increase your pulse rate hence blood will circulate faster and as a result the venom will spread throughout your body intoxicating your blood, heart e.t.c. point is you will die. On the brighter side, stay calm, breathe, tie the leg and call for help (assuming you have a mobile phone).

The farmer then bit the snake. That’s right; he opened his mouth and bit the cobra. I don’t know about you, but I imagine a snake let alone a cobra with a fat head full of venom, has very hard skin considering it’s a reptile; I honestly do not quite get the picture clearly in my head but he did it.

 “If a snake bites you, bite it back and you will not die”, said a snake charmer from Nepali

So the farmer took the advice and chomped it to death. Did he live? Of course, how else would we have come to know of the story. Five quick lessons from  this story: always listen to advice regardless of the source, thoughts should come before actions, deal with problems as soon as they occur, do away completely with a problem generator and lastly for the love of God, please please do not go farming at night when you can’t see a damn thing or snake.
                                                                                                     bahati
                                                

Thursday, January 9, 2014


It takes courage

Bad things happen, “so what?” the cynical you ask. Do you suggest that I deal with it and move on or ‘build a bridge and walk over it!” well, neither am I Hercules and therefore can’t crush the 7 foot gym attending burglar who broke into my house with one fist nor am I Albert Einstein to scientifically calculate my way out of a problem I am sinking in by the second.

But tell you what, I am me. Simple as it is, I’m just me. I get disappointed when I get to the other side of the rainbow and discover there is no glorious treasure, or when I frantically dig at a spot marked X, because of a promise of discovering hidden treasures comprising of ancient magenta crystals and priceless twinkling diamonds; only to find an old empty rugged trunk.

Truth is I get hurt, frustrated and annoyed….. But I move on. I move on because I always get something better on the way. I get an opportunity.

An opportunity to experience a whole new world that money couldn’t even buy. I was my own teacher and my own supervisor. I struggled, strained, damn I even panicked; but most important of all I learned. I learned to live, I may not have got what I wanted but I acquired what I needed. Nevertheless, it wasn’t easy; it took courage.

So, should I still ‘build a bridge and get over it’ as you earlier suggested?

I have a question for you though:  what is easier? Building a bridge over a 50 feet mountain of problems or calmly figuring your way around and walk past it? You be the judge

PS: if a burglar breaks into your house, don’t reason with him! CALL 911 and run the hell out of there!

 

                                                                                                                        Peninah bahati

On our lips but not in our hearts, Kenya @50

Another story, another tear….. a moment of silence please. A moment of stillness as we requite yet another dozen lost souls: hundreds of unfulfilled dreams and thousands of destroyed ambitions. Last year I’d have said 42 were the devil’s favorite number and Narok-Bomet his favorite name. Should I say America’s September 11th 2009 or should I stick to our own September 14th 2011.just a bunch of numbers and dates huh? What of September 20th 2013? Does it by any chance ring a bell?

A careless driver here, an ‘I’m on top of the world’ cigarette smoker there and a vengeful terrorist over there cost thousands of families their loved ones.

‘stale news’ is what you’ll think as u hurriedly skim through this to get it over with; but for me it’s a lost brother, sister, aunt, uncle, mum and dad. Pitiful it sounds (I agree) but shameful is what it truly is because humanity has  long forgotten and long lost its conscience.

“Honey where are you? Are you ok?”

”Yeah I’m in school and I’m okay. You?”

….the conversation goes on and the line eventually goes dead and so does your conscience as you sigh and ‘thank God’ it wasn’t your biological brother or sister or whatever that died. So another human feature story it is. (makes the headline actually). Few ministers pretend to shed a tear here and another there claiming to “all we can to find the perpetrators” but what happens a few days down the line? The chapter is closed and they are off to their campaigns and blah blah blah. But hold up Mr. Politician and you too an unconcerned self declared patriotic citizen of Kenya dutifully celebrating Kenya @50; that there on the picture on the obituary is your brother, sister and parent too.

So don’t you forget the bond that ties you to your fellow human making him and your brother. Westgate terror attack, Sinai fire, Narok-Bomet  road accident, Bungoma genocide………….the list goes on and on.

Hope, dreams and lots of ambitions last made contact with these roads and grounds where souls breathed their last. Graveyards aren’t the richest place anymore but these black spots are. a little mustard seed can go a long way and so does a little caution. A sober mind will also come handy and recommended as well in handling lives.

Another moment of silence please.